Parents' involvement in their child's education is a key factor in the child's scholastic success. Parental participation ranges from paying little or no attention to overt hovering. As the teacher, you must help manage the parental participation so that students are accountable for their own learning. You must develop positive relationships with parents to demonstrate that you care about their child's progress and well-being.

Getting started

Any relationship between teacher and student also includes the parents. Think of the relationship dynamic as a triangle with each side representing one party: the student, the parents, and you. If one side is not doing its share of work in the relationship, the other two must pick up the slack; otherwise, all three sides will face the consequences. You must have a customer service approach to communicating with parents. Be prepared, polite, and professional in all your communications.

Connecting with students

Creating positive relationships with parents requires you to first connect with the kids in your charge. Anything that helps your students look forward to coming to school helps you connect with them. Start forging this connection by:

• Planning activities and lessons that help you get to know the kids.
• Making an effort to have several positive interactions with the kids during the first few days of school.
• Being polite and positive at all times.
• Noticing and praising when kids do something correctly or well.
• Listening to their stories with interest.
• Giving the kids nicknames, when appropriate.

Envision clear expectations for classroom behavior, and enforce these standards consistently. Feeling understood, safe, and connected helps kids enjoy school. When kids feel good about being in your class, they communicate those good feelings to their parents.

Establish your policies and procedures so that kids and parents can refer to them. Communication most often breaks down between home and school when the student tells their parents only part of the story and the parents do not probe for the rest of it. Misunderstandings can arise and valuable time is lost whenever a parent has to contact you for clarification. If the parent has a copy of your classroom expectations, you can look at the document together while discussing the issues.

Identifying yourself to parents

Parents want to know who you are, what you look like, and what your background is. Make your first communication with parents concise and direct. Introduce yourself, provide information about how to contact you, and convey an overall positive attitude. Encourage the parents to attend open house, and provide the date and time for the event. Open house is a great chance to demonstrate your excitement about your job and class while helping parents get a feel for the environment that their kids spend so much time in.

Find out whether your school will print business cards for you or whether you can make them yourself by using Microsoft Office Publisher 2003. Include your business card, or a refrigerator magnet displaying your business card, in your open house packet or with your first communication to your students' parents. Keeping your contact information handy makes it easier for parents to get in touch with you when questions arise.

Communicating with parents

After parents know who you are, you still have to open communications and maintain them. How you begin can set the tone of this relationship for the entire school year. The following are some tips for good communications with parents:

• Returning phone calls   Start by introducing yourself by name and position, such as, "Hi, this is Kim Ralls, Andy's teacher." Next, ask the parent if he or she has time to talk. Because the parent initiated the contact, let the parent speak first. Even if you think that you know the topic for discussion, allow the parent to lead the conversation. What was a crisis at 9 A.M. might be a minor issue by 3 P.M.
• Listening and taking notes   Pay attention and take notes of key points as the parent gives them to you. If you have to interrupt for clarification, do so politely. Stick to facts, do not repeat hearsay, and avoid being defensive.
• Responding to e-mail   Always write a salutation, and thank the parent for his or her e-mail message. Remember, what you send can be forwarded or printed, so check your message for grammar and spelling, stick to the facts, and word your message politely. Keep emotion out of your message. Save all e-mail messages to and from parents for future reference.
• Being proactive   E-mail is an effective way of making quick contact with parents. Two to three sentences can help parents follow up with their child at home. The student will also understand that he or she needs to hold up his or her side of the relationship.
• Staying positive   If the parent is upset, validate the parent's feelings and then suggest a way to resolve the issue. Always end the phone call, e-mail message, or meeting by thanking the parent for his or her time. Don't limit your phone calls, letters, and e-mail messages to bad news. Sharing good news with parents helps build cooperation between home and school, and ensures your messages aren't regarded with dread.

Reaping the benefits

Developing positive relationships and clear lines of communication with parents and students can bridge the gap between home and school. When your students know that you communicate with their parents, they are less likely to misbehave or play one of you against the other. When parents join you in supporting their side of the relationship triangle, the parents and you help the students take responsibility for their own job of learning and growing.

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